1. (12:25) ‹Boss'joker› nice playin
  2. (12:35) ‹FaultAway› thank you
  3. (12:38) ‹FaultAway› it sucks actually
  4. (12:41) ‹FaultAway› i played much better
  5. (12:52) ‹FaultAway› And i just understood
  6. (12:53) ‹Boss'joker› only if you had 4 arrms
  7. (12:59) ‹FaultAway› i jsut understood
  8. (13:06) ‹FaultAway› certain things in life are irreversable
  9. (13:14) ‹FaultAway› meaning soon I will commit suicide
  10. (13:17) ‹FaultAway› Lexous
  11. (13:22) ‹FaultAway› i jsut understood
  12. (13:25) ‹Lexabyte› Hi Roy
  13. (13:28) ‹Boss'joker› just dont
  14. (13:29) ‹FaultAway› somehting that took me months to understand
  15. (13:38) ‹FaultAway› certain things are irreversable
  16. (13:47) ‹FaultAway› if i went out of hospital
  17. (13:49) ‹FaultAway› stopped pills
  18. (13:51) ‹Boss'joker› suicide is greedy
  19. (13:53) ‹FaultAway› and i am still jnot myself
  20. (14:03) ‹FaultAway› there is no point in continuing to wait and suffering more
  21. (14:07) ‹Lexabyte› That's exactly what I told him booss
  22. (14:10) ‹FaultAway› it might be greedy and selfish
  23. (14:16) ‹FaultAway› but seriously
  24. (14:24) ‹FaultAway› the decision has been made
  25. (14:27) ‹FaultAway› and pretty soon
  26. (14:38) ‹FaultAway› after i make sure to leave behind things so the world will know i created them
  27. (14:40) ‹FaultAway› i do it
  28. (14:45) ‹Boss'joker› why make it easy and tske a shorta cut when on the long road there my ba another path
  29. (15:09) ‹Lexabyte› yes
  30. (15:13) ‹FaultAway› Cause I realised that no matter path it wil be
  31. (15:18) ‹FaultAway› myself I wont be again
  32. (15:29) ‹Boss'joker› you just haven't found it yet
  33. (15:32) ‹FaultAway› i was a man who didnt loko at other woman than my partner
  34. (15:33) ‹Lexabyte› People chane Roy
  35. (15:39) ‹Lexabyte› Its a fact of life
  36. (15:40) ‹FaultAway› nowadays i lok at everyone
  37. (15:43) ‹FaultAway› and i have no partner
  38. (15:49) ‹Lexabyte› Neither do I
  39. (15:52) ‹Lexabyte› Not anymore
  40. (15:53) ‹Boss'joker› hey im single
  41. (15:53) ‹FaultAway› cause at least i realised that i was truthful in the past
  42. (15:56) ‹Lexabyte› Same here
  43. (15:59) ‹FaultAway› and i cant decide to be truthfull now
  44. (16:06) ‹FaultAway› so i told her i almosed poisened her
  45. (16:09) ‹Lexabyte› My boyfriend broke up with me yesterday
  46. (16:18) ‹HeyThereLonely› LEX
  47. (16:21) ‹FaultAway› and that i lok at others and fantasies and that it is not in my control cause it seriously isnt
  48. (16:22) ‹Lexabyte› Hey Shan
  49. (16:29) ‹FaultAway› ill give it little time
  50. (16:35) ‹FaultAway› and then ill jsut do it
  51. (16:39) ‹Lexabyte› Roy you may have lost your old self
  52. (16:48) ‹Lexabyte› But you can make a new you
  53. (16:56) ‹Lexabyte› A stronger you
  54. (17:26) ‹Boss'joker› record some of theses songs put them on a cd and get them sold
  55. (17:41) ‹FaultAway› I will put all my music
  56. (17:45) ‹FaultAway› everywhere
  57. (17:47) ‹FaultAway› and my drawings
  58. (17:49) ‹FaultAway› and my letters
  59. (17:52) ‹FaultAway› and poems
  60. (17:54) ‹FaultAway› and everything
  61. (17:58) ‹Boss'joker› tmake a book
  62. (18:03) ‹FaultAway› and make sure to at least leave my true self behind
  63. (18:21) ‹FaultAway› this sorry excuse to existence though i will destroy
  64. (19:36) ‹Boss'joker› i like this music its calming
  65. (19:48) ‹FaultAway› =[
  66. (19:53) ‹FaultAway› it doesnt affect me
  67. (19:58) ‹FaultAway› ill play another one that might calm you
  68. (21:37) ‹Boss'joker› wow
  69. (22:58) ‹Boss'joker› where do you upload you songs
  70. (23:45) ‹Lexabyte› Hey Chris
  71. (24:10) ‹Lexabyte› Geez how many people are just phantom lurking?
  72. (24:19) ‹COUGAR› Whats up ...
  73. (24:20) ‹Lexabyte› Hi Cougar
  74. (24:28) ‹COUGAR› Hi lexa
  75. (24:38) ‹COUGAR› nice to see you
  76. (25:07) ‹COUGAR› I like this music is relaxing
  77. (25:09) ‹Lexabyte› Same here =]
  78. (25:14) ‹FaultAway› hey cougar
  79. (25:22) ‹FaultAway› All the same man
  80. (25:33) ‹FaultAway› everything is wrong gfriernd
  81. (25:35) ‹FaultAway› friend
  82. (25:40) ‹FaultAway› but thank you for being here
  83. (25:45) ‹FaultAway› and any time you want jsut request cam
  84. (26:42) ‹FaultAway› I an happy for you
  85. (26:46) ‹FaultAway› am
  86. (26:59) ‹FaultAway› its nice to hear of lives going the right way
  87. (28:16) ‹COUGAR› I could happend to you if you flip the other side.
  88. (28:31) ‹Boss'joker› i read some where some insturment players have the best work when they are haveing troubld times
  89. (29:07) ‹COUGAR› that great music ...do you compose it?
  90. (29:37) ‹Boss'joker› it is the most open emotional tim eand they tend to expres it through music
  91. (30:04) ‹FaultAway› it used to be like that for me
  92. (30:22) ‹COUGAR› Well pain is good ... it tell you that you still alive... for good thins
  93. (30:22) ‹FaultAway› but i fail to play like i used to since things have turned into a psychological psychiatric mesee
  94. (30:27) ‹FaultAway› mess
  95. (31:22) ‹Boss'joker› keep writing poems about yourself keep a diary recorde this music DONT GIVE UP
  96. (32:08) ‹FaultAway› I will try though
  97. (32:08) ‹COUGAR› everyone have some psicological problems in one way or other... you just have to find the right tune... mann
  98. (32:20) ‹Boss'joker› express what you feel even what you dont want to show
  99. (32:25) ‹FaultAway› but if ill understand again in a different way what must be dont
  100. (32:45) ‹FaultAway› well its not hard for me to say anything
  101. (32:52) ‹FaultAway› i jsut dont know what to say except what im going through
  102. (33:02) ‹FaultAway› those pills they gave me really messed me up and disconnected me
  103. (33:28) ‹Boss'joker› anti depressant ? or something like that
  104. (33:46) ‹FaultAway› they gave me anti psychotics when i was totally normal
  105. (33:52) ‹FaultAway› it disconnect me totally
  106. (33:59) ‹COUGAR› perscriptions?
  107. (34:07) ‹Boss'joker› they gave me redaline when i was 6
  108. (34:13) ‹FaultAway› and then when i realised im disconnected i stopped taking cold turkey
  109. (34:19) ‹Boss'joker› i thnk i was just hyper
  110. (34:27) ‹FaultAway› and then smoked hashish and that was even more bad
  111. (34:33) ‹FaultAway› the gave me xyprexa
  112. (34:37) ‹FaultAway› zyprexa
  113. (34:41) ‹Boss'joker› you mixed drugs
  114. (35:17) ‹Boss'joker› ppl probably told you may times but its dangerous
  115. (35:34) ‹COUGAR› Talk with music... thats the tune that will give you the balance.
  116. (35:47) ‹Lexabyte› I took Zyprexa too
  117. (35:56) ‹Boss'joker› cougar im injoing the tunes
  118. (35:57) ‹Lexabyte› Made me gain 35 pounds
  119. (36:15) ‹Boss'joker› what is it 4 lex
  120. (36:25) ‹Lexabyte› Psycosis
  121. (36:31) ‹Boss'joker› hmm
  122. (36:54) ‹Lexabyte› Also for Bipolar
  123. (37:02) ‹Lexabyte› But he should get off of it
  124. (37:10) ‹Lexabyte› Zyprexa can cause diabetes
  125. (37:30) ‹COUGAR› thats it mannn ... give it to the world...
  126. (37:38) ‹Lexabyte› 35 pounds...and I took the lowest dose possible
  127. (37:42) ‹FaultAway› also zyprexa does damage
  128. (37:52) ‹COUGAR› let desire to drive you.
  129. (37:56) ‹FaultAway› if you search for it you will see that the company that manufactured zyprexa
  130. (38:05) ‹FaultAway› paid over 700 million dollars
  131. (38:12) ‹FaultAway› because what it did
  132. (38:15) ‹Lexabyte› yup
  133. (38:19) ‹FaultAway› my situation though is different
  134. (38:20) ‹COUGAR› 700m?
  135. (38:24) ‹Boss'joker› i know i have adhd or something like that but all the differant drugs they switched me to i just started to refuse to take them during highschool
  136. (38:25) ‹FaultAway› because it fucked only my mind
  137. (38:33) ‹FaultAway› and they still havnt figured it out
  138. (38:41) ‹Lexabyte› yea it does turn you into a zombie
  139. (38:56) ‹Lexabyte› My suggestion is get off of it
  140. (39:06) ‹Lexabyte› Get prozac
  141. (39:22) ‹Lexabyte› Prozac has little side effects
  142. (39:30) ‹bonnie48› prozac gave me bad headaches, almost like migraines
  143. (39:32) ‹Boss'joker› is schizophrinia hereditary
  144. (39:33) ‹FaultAway› well i am off it
  145. (39:38) ‹FaultAway› and not they gave me MODAL
  146. (39:39) ‹COUGAR› Some times the simples things are the one that give you the answers....
  147. (39:39) ‹Lexabyte› Yes it is
  148. (39:46) ‹FaultAway› which is antipsychotic and anti depressent
  149. (39:54) ‹FaultAway› dont know what wil be now,,
  150. (40:01) ‹Lexabyte› I didnt get it thank god
  151. (40:03) ‹FaultAway› i see my time is running out
  152. (40:13) ‹FaultAway› so ill end this show and i will be right back
  153. (40:15) ‹Lexabyte› But on my dad's side his aunt was schizo
  154. (40:15) ‹Boss'joker› or great because i have a aunt and uncle one on each side
  155. (40:20) ‹FaultAway› thank you guys for being here
  156. (40:26) ‹bonnie48› I had to get off my anti deppressants
  157. (40:31) ‹FaultAway› if you want please do come back for the last show for toady
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